so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
