No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
