Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
