We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
