When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
