It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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