FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
