My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i barfeds in our rink
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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