Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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