you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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