plz talk dirty to me
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
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