plz talk dirty to me
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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