another moral hangover. fuck.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
