girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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