Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
