Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
