Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
