This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he fucked my hip out of place.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
