making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
