At least make sure they are 18
Why
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
