Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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