Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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