That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
