the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Randomize
