So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
