I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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