Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
