They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
