He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
