i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
