i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i think i have herpe
just one?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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