Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
