your thong is hanging out like whoa
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Someone came in the potted fern
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
