that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
