we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
