Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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