please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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