I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
