Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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