too bad you live with your parents still
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Boobs speak an international language.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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