You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
