Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
