Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
