dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
