My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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