Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
