I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
