I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Terrible idea I love it
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