WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
