____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
