They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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